he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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