I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
