I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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