I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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