I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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