I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
