i permit you to call me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
