Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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