He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
