It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
