Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize