Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
