...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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