you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
