My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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