careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
