Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
