think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
