I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize