they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it was like having sex with a tree stump
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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