I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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