ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
