so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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