i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
