I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
