things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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