I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
