Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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