thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
