Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
