i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
