Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
