What a fucking waste of an outfit
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
