just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize
