you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
