I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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