I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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