dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
