Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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