I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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