I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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