The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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