Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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