i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
