ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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