therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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