remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
