Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
