So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
