Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
