Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Randomize
