Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
