Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
