another moral hangover. fuck.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize