And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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