So drunk, too bad you don't want this
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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