...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
