Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
