I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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