i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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