So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
