Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
