That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
