Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
you never un-have a 4some
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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