With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
