we have officially lost it.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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