Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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