It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
