My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
