i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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