just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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