He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
