We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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