The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
