im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
