Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
