no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
