if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
