Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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