i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
