real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There's always time for handjobs
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
