i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
