Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
