She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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