My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
